Why Being "Told What to Do" Doesn't Work

I saw this quote shared recently and LOVED every bit of it:

13-year old me: Don't tell me what to do!

Me now: Could someone tell me exactly, in chronological order and with great detail what I have to do?

Think about it for a second... Now let me throw another dose of reality out there;

IT DOESN'T WORK!!

I still have this conversation with regular and new clients alike. My job is NOT to "tell you what to do" and then "magically, my clients will just do it".

There's two factors at play:

1) I don't know everything. (Contrary to popular belief, I know! 🤣) NO ONE knows everything (your doctor, your health and wellness coach, your physio, your spouse/partner, "that guy/woman at the gym who's jacked".... NO ONE!)

2) You can do (or not do) whatever YOU want - You're an adult NOW!

As a matter of fact, 99% of the readers here have been adults for decades!

If this mentality worked (of clients coming in and doing as I suggest), there'd be a quarter century worth of clients wandering around out there who are healthy and leading a lifestyle that works for them and their deep health. They'd be saying "just go see 'that guy' and everything will fall into place."

You're right - that's NOT realistic is it!? Neither is the mentality of "I'll hire this professional, they'll tell me what to do and all my problems are solved".

Here's why we NEED to LET GO this mentality and approach BEFORE WE WILL EVER see sustainable positive change in our health efforts...

Human Beings ARE NOT a "cookie cutter" Template.

We run DEEP. We are COMPLEX. SO MANY things can impact, postively or negatively, SO MANY other things in our lives and our health. EVERY SINGLE person has SO MUCH different about him/her that it is IMPOSSIBLE to say "if client 'A' does 'x-y-z' all will be well".

Life Happens.

When we hire professional support and guidance and/or when we set off into our own health endeavours, we ALWAYS ignore the fact that LIFE WILL HAPPEN. Responsibilities, errands, family, friends, unexpected stressors, bills, financial constraints, likes and dislikes, transportation, injuries, illness ... The list goes on. You can have the BEST Coach in the world on your side, giving you the BEST program EVER CREATED that YOU ARE TOTALLY PUMPED ABOUT - Yet when life happens, it will 100% put a dent in ALL OF THAT. Meaning, "just tell me what to do and I'll do it" is NOT realistic.

It takes YOU (the client) out of the Equation.

If I (your coach), tells you (the client) what to do, that is NOT fully taking YOU into account. If I say to my clients, "Do x-y-z no matter what", that is NOT going to last very long. My client may actually not mind 'x' or 'z', but LOATHES 'y' for example. This is why when my clients are given something to TRY, it's a suggestion, an experiment and it's also paired with; "What do you think?", "Can you do that easily in your day(s)?", "Does this work for you?", "What's your thoughts with this?" and it becomes a discussion back and forth if need be, until we BOTH agree on a plan.

It DOESN'T allow YOUR Accountability with YOURSELF to Strengthen

Someone "telling you what to do" does NOTHING for your own accountability, responsibility and resilience in your deep health. I eluded to this in a post last month. If you are relying on "someone else" to "tell you what to do", for the rest of your life when it comes to caring for YOUR wellbeing, you're in for a shock; IT WON'T LAST. Then what?? When your Coach, Doctor, Chiro, RMT etc moves away, changes career, retires, gets sick and can't work for a while... Guess what? They won't be able to "tell you what to do". If your approach has been "tell me what to do and I'll do it" for months, years or longer with your support network, you're "Self-Reliance and Self-Accountability Muscle" is going to be VERY weak. From there, YOUR health suffers.

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The fitness and health industry, as we know it has been around since the 1960's. Over those 6-decades WE have learned a TON about WHAT WORKS, WHAT DOESN'T WORK and the "Been there, done that" effect. THIS mentality DOES NOT SERVE US. So why do we continue to go back to it? Because it's "easy" despite the fact that we've proven it time and time again as client, professional and as humans in general that it DOES NOT WORK.

Time to STOP searching for it.

Time to STOP asking for it.

Shift the approach to GUIDANCE, SUPPORT, LEARNING, EXPERIMENTING and CREATING the healthy lifestyle you WANT and NEED, that you can carry with you whether that support is there or not.

BE SELF-RELIANT, with the ability to connect with the support you need, when you need it and watch the POSITIVE HEALTH shift that happens for yourself! You CAN do it!