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Coaching in Action: Helping YOU see YOUR REALITY
It's really not as bad as those words may come across. A large chunk of my time with clients is spent helping them see THEIR OWN reality, through a set of unbiased, neutral eyes. Naturally, we ALL easily can get caught up in EVERYTHING we have on plate each day and the REAL story gets lost in translation. This is where having a Health & Wellness Coach can help!
Helping Clients see what they ARE doing
Contrary to popular belief, I am not here to point out "all the things clients are doing 'wrong'"in their efforts. If you've followed my work and blog long enough you've probably already realized that there is NO WRONG WAY to health and wellbeing. The only time we can argue something is "wrong" is when YOU are IGNORING what YOUR physiology is telling you.
Humans are wired to pick out the negatives. It's what kept us ALIVE and able to evolve as a species. "Negative" back when we lived in nature and not in a climate controlled, cozy box, usually meant something life threatening (eg: predators, extreme weather conditions, dangerous terrain, unfriendly humans outside our tribe....) The difference was then, these things were few and far between.
Our brains are STILL wired the same way, but now we get to use those same brains in the modern world where thankfully most negatives are NOT so life threatening. HOWEVER, they are now CONSTANT and ABUNDANT. With so much information flooding our minds everday (both helpful and not helpful information), we get caught up in what EVERYONE ELSE IS DOING and then we carry the weight of the world on our backs, while often implementing it into our own health and lifestyle approach (without even realizing it). What stands out from this?? The NEGATIVES. ALL THE THINGS we "SHOULD" be doing and ALL THE THINGS we ARE NOT currently doing.
REALITY CHECK: Many conversations with clients are focused on what they ARE doing.
Often overlooked and often the reason people STOP
As a Coach, I have the ability to help show people what THEY ARE DOING positively for their wellbeing! That part that gets "muddied in the waters of negativity". It's not hard to see why so many people STOP doing things (even when they're positive); because they don't SEE, THINK or REALIZE they're doing it!!
If we focus on "all the things we 'should' be doing" we will forever feel "behind". You CAN'T and WON'T do "all the things they say we need to do to be the ultimate healthy human". This is again where having a Coach helps, because I get the pleasure of sharing the secret with my clients; WE DON'T NEED TO DO IT ALL!!!
It's not uncommon to have at least a few conversations each week with clients who come in stressed out with themselves because they didn't do 'x', 'y' and/or 'z'. Together, the client and myself (the Coach) look at THEIR data from the past week...
🤔 They may have had a hectic week at work (stress, long hours, big projects etc)
🤔 They may have had arguments with their partner or kids at home
🤔 They may have had personal stressors (relationships, injury, illness, death of a loved one etc... )
🤔 They may have a SHIT TON on their plate over the past week or so
All of these things offering absolute concrete evidence that their physiology is dealing with ALOT!! We CAN'T do it all. We only have a finite amount of energy each day.
At the same time, I bring up the view of "what DID you do" in this past week that was "so disasterous"? At that point, they usually rhyme of some things that they kind of brush off...
👍 " I went for a 10min walk on my lunch breaks"
👍 "Instead of my resistance routine I did a yoga video at home on Wednesday"
👍 "When the kids went to bed, I put on an old movie and did some colouring"
👍 "After coffee with my friend Friday morning, we went to the park for a walk"
Together, we then REFRAME THEIR REALITY to HIGHLIGHT THE POSITIVES...
👏 In that HECTIC work week, you still managed to MAKE time for yourself and got your body moving each day at lunch
👏 Despite having some disagreements with your partner / kids driving you nuts, you made some time to get some yoga in and STILL move your body (but in an adjusted way)
👏 With all the things you're dealing with currently, you CREATED time to bring yourself down and relax, with the old movie and some colouring
👏 With so much on your plate, you MADE time for you to enjoy time with your friend AND you moved your body at the same time
How we FRAME things in our mind HELPS or HARMS our efforts
Take a moment to go back and read over the examples; First the negative and then the positive. There's a BIG difference in how they come across isn't there??
NONE of them are lies. Yet the dialogue from focusing on what they DID do for their health, carries a VERY DIFFERENT ENERGY. Suddenly, it's not a "weight" we're carrying but rather MOMENTUM and EXCITEMENT. "Geeze! I did do that didn't I?" (That's a VERY real "ah ha" moment with clients when we chat about this stuff). Compare that to "I got ALL this going on right now AND I didn't even do 'x', 'y' and/or 'z' that I SAID I WOULD for myself!". Those words become a weight, that client carries with him/her EVERYDAY, ALL DAY. YET, it's NOT their reality.
I know you may be reading this (especially if you don't know me / my work that well) and think "Oh sure, Coach. It's easy to say and to be all 'flowers and rainbows' all the time, but that's not REAL in itself!"
I totally agree! And FYI you forgot about the unicorns. 😉 But this is where COACHING is different than randomly scrolling the internet or talking to the friend or family member, who's randomly scrolling the internet...
The conversation is STILL REAL and NOT denying anything that you felt/had happen, but it's NOT dragging you down!! It's allowing the muddy waters to settle so you can see CLEARLY.
☯ Maybe you're being unrealistic with yourself
☯ Maybe you have a lack of strategies and tools when life hits hard
☯ Maybe your goal isn't "bad", but you don't currently have the ability to go after it
☯ Maybe you have a lack of strategies and tools to create a mindset that will ALLOW you to adjust with the ebs and flows life brings
And then we tackle those things - TOGETHER.
I compare it to coaching in sports. It's easy as a player to focus on the negative; a bad pass, a mistake that cost a goal, a swing that headed your golf ball straight for the woods (I'm good at that negative example by the way 🤣). That's where the Coach comes in. The Coach won't deny the bad pass, mistake or off swing, but then he/she will help you get your head back in the game; re-focus, learn from it, remind you of all the 25 great passes you've made before the ONE bad one etc... Coaching in health and wellness works on the same premise.
We're NOT going to do the work for you.
We're NOT going to perform miracles or magic.
We're NOT going to tear you down WHEN you are set back.
We ARE going to help you SEE THINGS CLEARLY, build your RESILIENCE and create FLEXIBILITY in your approach so that when LIFE HAPPENS (which it WILL 100%), you can continue to focus on YOUR HEALTH as you go with the flow.
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