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Post 300!!! "The Archives": 8 Lessons Learned over the 5-years of the Zen Blog
- Derek Arsenault (CSEP-CPT, PN1)
- May 12
- 22 min read
Let me start by saying to YOU (whether you visit the Zen Blog regularly or you're new here), thank you for reading my words, thoughts and ramblings over the last 5-years and as of today, 300 published posts (and counting).
I love to write. I love to think about my health, wellbeing and mindset. I love to make others think about theirs. I love to try to help people "filter through all the noise" that's out there in health, wellbeing and the internet and just TUNE IN to their own amazing physiology to help set the foundations. That is why I write on the Zen Blog. Some of the 300 posts so far have been planned out, while others have been a spur of the moment idea that popped up in conversation with a client or during a walk, run or lift session I was doing myself. Either way, I love sharing and writing. And I don't plan to stop any time soon!
For the 300th post, I put out a little question to get an idea of what regular readers would like to see as the topic for this special milestone. The answer was unanimously: "The Archives" - Lessons learned over the 5-years of the Zen Blog. Considering the Zen Blog started in such a turbulant time (2021) for most of us, there have been MANY lessons (professionally and personally) during those 5-years. I'm actually amazed how long this took to finish. Revisiting some of this stuff was both good and had me, at times, feeling the need to take a break after revisiting some things here. All great lessons and all things that have allowed me to grow and continue to learn more about MYSELF and about LIFE.
Grab a coffee, tea or favourite drink, relax and get ready to dive into the mind of "Coach D" (Yikes!) and lesson's learned.
Lesson 1: Just because you have a plan, doesn't mean the universe has to follow along
FLEXIBILITY in ANY plan is crucial. Whether it's a life plan or a health plan, you HAVE to be ready to be bend, bob and weave based on whatever life throws at you. The last 5-years tore up our life plan and spit it out VERY quickly. I'll keep this as short as I can...
Heading into 2019 we owned 3- small businesses (Ridiculous? Yes 🤣) : Living Energy (my fitness and wellness studio in Belleville), Inner Peace Spa and Wellness Studio (in Frankford in our current building) and The ArtiZen Cafe (in Frankford just around the corner from the studio.) We were running ourselves through the ground (duh!), despite doing everything we planned and wanted to do. Let's just say, there was no saying Derek & Shawna didn't follow their hearts and passions. We also owned an old century home. We certainly no longer wanted as big of a home, and definitely not one with as much upkeep needed as a century home. At the start of 2019 we put a plan into motion to BEGIN to simplify and with that, we combined my studio and Shawna's spa to re-brand as a health and wellness studio: Zenergy Health & Wellness.
2020. Smack dab at the start of lockdown we moved into a rental home that was half the size (by choice) of our century home, where we had lived for 15-years. The plan was downsize, breathe, just do our thing for 3-5 years while we save some money to build a small home on a nice little property (when that was still realistic for many folks).
The pandemic and lock downs QUICKLY ate up ALL our savings and money from our house sale. It spiked the cost of EVERYTHING, as we all know, and simply surviving in business became the "new normal". But the impact didn't really hit until the following year.
2021. Our landlord tells us (just 1-year into renting) that they're selling. The market spiked so much, how could they not? They could double the sale of a house they just purchased 2-years before we came in. They were a young family and between the sale of the rental and their home, they'd have over a million dollars to build THEIR dream home on a beautiful piece of property. We had no where to go and ended up in a living situation that STILL to this day feels very surreal (in a nightmare way, not a good way). I'll leave it at that. I still feel the anxiousness build up just thinking about it (which is also fascinating to me how our physiology remembers and works to protects us).
With the real estate market spike and savings gone, our plan was completely out the window. Even buying a property became no longer affordable. That's not even counting the ridiculous cost jump of building supplies etc.
By the time we exited the lockdowns and the "pandemic years" we had ONE business (somehow) still standing. It's a constant struggle to make a go of things when you own a small business today in ANY industry. I'm not saying it for sympathy, but rather being real to spread awareness, support and understanding. ONE business is enough!
It's only JUST in 2026 that Shawna and I (finally) have a bit of a clearer picture as to our direction moving forward. Over the last couple years though, even THAT has shifted slightly at times. It will take time and there certainly may be some off-shoots of the path still to come. Our pandemic years taught us in life and business, to always be PREPARED to be flexible with plans, because there is NEVER the ability to see what life MAY bring you. Planning is okay! But be FLEXIBLE within your plans.
Lesson 2: When we are in a chronic state of "high alert", it severely impacts our deep health
I continue to learn and coach myself and my clients about the impact of chronic stress. Too many of us are PUSHING through our days with our nervous system in "high gear" or "high alert", rarely or never being able to shut down our "fight or flight" stress response. That system in our body was NOT designed to always be "on". The last 5-years have been the ONLY time in my now 44-years of life that I have been legitimately concerned about my health and wellbeing. There were many times I felt out of control (and I really don't like that feeling). When I say 'out of control', I mean in all facets; physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.
As we've done in the past, there were MAJOR life changes happening all at once (not recommended by the way). We have to remember that ANY major life change (positive or negative) is a SERIOUS hit to our nervous system and stress response. Moving homes, changing jobs, having a baby, financial situations changing, death in the family, long time friendships falling apart etc... For any of us these have major impacts on our system as a whole. We can only take on so much as human beings.
Not only did we have the pandemic on the go and SO much uncertainty in the world, we were going through our living situation and implosion of our life plans as I mentioned previously. At the same time, this was causing me to (for the first time in my career) ask myself if I'd had enough. Should I move on to something else in life? I'm struggling to care for my own wellbeing, so how can I possibly give my best to my clients?
To add to all that, I thought it would be "a great time" to take on the role of being Head Referee for our local soccer club when I was asked. Also at the SAME TIME, I was asked to Coach our soccer club's division 1 women's team. (Just thinking back to all this now makes me feel that anxious feeling that I don't care for - UGH!). I was missing the game desperately after choosing to retire in 2018 due to injury. I thought this would be an awesome way to still be around the game. *
-The Head Ref role was NOT as it was proposed to me (to no one's fault in the club). When I commit to a role like that, I'm going to do my absolute best. I went from being told it would be "my own time" and I would get to mentor lots of young referees when I could throughout the month to managing reffing schedules regularly, dealing with situations from previous games my refs dealt with, dealing with political "stuff" and standards from regional organizations, communicating with my fellow Head Referee in Belleville whom I've known for years, to helping him with reffing shortages and being on the field 4-5 nights per week myself reffing (again due to shortages). I was mentally and physically exhausted by the end of that season. Don't forget, I also had a REAL job with clients and a business to run. If I wasn't working my REAL job, I was dealing with reffing work or on the field reffing myself. By the end of that season I knew, this was NOT sustainable. I was PHYSICALLY exhausted as well. As a volunteer, that's NOT okay.
*Prior to taking on the Head Ref position and Head Coach position with our club team, I did some therapy online for the first time ever. It was good timing in the sense that I was working my way through my SSR certification, so it was reminding me I have the tools, but also it solidified how "blind" we can be to our own stress when we're in it. My therapist actually taught me that I was grieving. Grief can come from the loss of identity as well as a loved one for example, and when I started my therapy due to the stressors the pandemic was bringing us, I was also unknowingly grieving the loss of the game I love. (That explains things! Makes perfect sense. Fascinating stuff!)
However, my system had little time to come down after all of this, as less than a year later, I took on the role as Head Coach of the Loyalist Lancers OCAA Women's Soccer team (April 2023).
-This experience was a bucket list one for me since my playing days in college, but it was also a big wake up call to the reality that WE CAN'T DO IT ALL (and we need to listen to our body). This job was paid LESS than minimum wage (believe it or not) and was ON TOP of running a business and working with clients every day. However, the role was not presented in the same way as the reality of the position was unfortunately. The expectations of you were FULL TIME expectations, particularly as the new Athletic Director stepped into the role. What was laid out as a job with "plenty of support" and "do what you can to the best of your ability" approach, became a 10-month of the year, full time job (I'll say it again - for less than minimum wage!). Travel, stress, pressure, managing personalities, scouting, watching video clips, planning, running practices, preparing on game days... When the time had come for myself and my staff to part ways with the college, I was the MOST scared for my health I had EVER been in my life. I was experiencing anxiety even more than when we lost our rental home during the pandemic. And it scared me big time!
Now that I can look back with a clearer mind and some newfound wisdom, it's INCREDIBLY obvious why this anxiety was so bad by the end of this adventure. From the spring of 2021 and through this time, my nervous system had NOT come down. I did do that therapy for a 6-week period during this spurt, but when you're still making choices that will SPIKE your "fight or flight" response, you're still IN IT. And I learned that when you're "in it" you're blind to ALL your body's signs and symptoms it's giving you to SLOW DOWN and care for yourself FIRST. Until they become VERY strong, scary and obvious.
When I look back on this period, I am SO GRATEFUL that Shawna and I do what we do for a living, and continue to be passionate about health and wellness, and learn more about the human body and how to care for our health. Without that awareness, Shawna could never have shared her concerns with me, and I certainly would not have started to connect with it myself once she did. TOGETHER, we were able to recognize that I could NOT continue for the sake of my deep health. Not everyone has the capability of recognizing these things... Yet.
Lesson 2b: Stress is ACCUMULATIVE
I learned this not only through experience and these major life decisions and shifts, but also in doing my SSRC certifiction (Sleep, Stress Management and Recovery Coach with Precision Nutrition - the first of it's kind in the world) during this stretch of time (2021-2024). The best analogy is a snowball, when you want to make a snow man. As you roll the small snowball in the snow what happens? It gets bigger. It picks up MORE snow. This is how stress works on our system. Which is also a PRIME reason we need to ACTIVELY seek out the education to PROPERLY manage our stress, for the sake of our deep health. This is also why my anxiety felt so bad towards the end of my college coaching foray, than it had before - It had accumulated, BIG TIME.
Lesson 2c: EVERYTHING is a CHOICE!
As much as my experiences as Head Ref and coaching at the college level didn't go as I had hoped or planned, it was that reminder and lesson that EVERYTHING is a CHOICE.
- I CHOSE to leave the Head Ref position after recognizing it was NOT sustainable for my health. Despite enjoying the role, the kids, the club I was with etc...
-I CHOSE to leave the college (though I stayed longer than I should have) because MY HEALTH NEEDED TO BE THE PRIORITY. That position, those expectations and the timing in life was NOT going to allow for that if I had stayed on.
CHOICE is a powerful thing that we all have in our life. We can often create positive shifts in our deep health simply by making a CHOICE for ourselves.
Lesson 3: You can't please everyone
I've learned this naturally over my career in health and wellness, and my foray into other areas like sports and coaching. Not everyone will mesh with my style, approach or personality in my work. That's totally okay. In fact, after a 25-years in the industry, it becomes much easier to be truly okay with that the fact that not everyone will work well with you and/or be successful as your client. Besides, you WANT to work with people who connect with what you're offering, rather than spending so much time, energy and health trying to "convince" someone to try your approach.
I think though, the hardest lesson with this was my experience at the college and coaching at that level. You can't please everyone. Period. The heart, effort, our staff's plan / goals to build the program that has been in my heart since my playing days, time, energy etc that I/we put into that coaching position I'm damn proud of, which is why I don't regret my season and a half in the role. Yet, no matter the effort not everyone will be happy with you and not everyone will recognize the effort you put in. Especially when you deal with larger numbers that becomes even more true. A roster of 20 players or more, an athletic staff of a handful of people, your coaching staff of 3 total people... at least someone won't be on the same wave length as you.
I knew this to some extent in my career, but I think I had to experience THAT experience to REALLY let it sink in. I truly believe in reflection. In these experiences, it's important to take time when it's over to ask yourself, "Did I do all I could do? Did I put in my best and my passion to the fullest extent possible?". If the answer is yes, I don't feel there can be any regret. You take the positives from it. You learn from the negatives. Either way, you get to move forward wiser and stronger from it. We grow and change in life through experiences, both good and bad. The challenging times however, are the ones where we build the most resilience and wisdom. If we never take a chance or try something, we can never create those strengths for ourselves.
Lesson 3b: You have to look out for you - No one else will.
I've learned through lessons like coaching sports at the college level, that you have to look out for you, because no one else will. In that scenario, where people were taking their time (and essentially volunteering their time) and energy outside of their career and family life, to help the college; there were no check-ins or empathy to the fact that there is alot on the coaches plates. There were no personal connections to ask: "How are you doing?" or "How's this all going for you?" (asked with intention and care as well). Many folks will be familiar with this in the workplace for example, where often the wellbeing of the workers are shoved aside in the name of profits or how the top executives/owners look to the rest of the world. Instead for us, coaches were met with responses to communications throughout the year with things like, "sorry, things are really busy here" or "sorry there's alot on our plate right now". Meanwhile, it's the coaches who have TWO full time jobs!!! Talk about a slap in the face eh?
My concern for my health, due to my anxiety and stress signals (and my wife's concern) were what pulled me away and helped me see this fact; You have to care for you - No one else will. In the end, nor should they! We are our own people. We are adults. We can CHOOSE to come or go whenever we want. And if it's CHOOSING to step away from something (ANYTHING) that is dragging your health DOWN, then we 100% NEED to do just that!
Lesson 4: Your time and energy are precious and worth protecting
It took over two decades in my career to learn this in and outside of work, but I finally did. Granted, like everything, it's still a work in progress. However, in the past handful of years with all this going on personally and professionally, I learned that your time and energy are PRECIOUS and worth PROTECTING. That understanding of that fact, is a BIG foundation in our deep health.
I learned this through more recent adventures like my soccer experiences I shared, as well as learning it through my work over the years. In combining my experiences with the study and education I continue to learn and grow in this way. There's a number of things I could talk about here, so I'll keep a few examples brief for the sake of this post:
1) Not connecting with clients. Clients can lift your energy up or drain your energy in a variety of ways. Just as the coach can do the same with clients. Why would anyone ever pay someone for a service if they're a source of stress and energy drain right? Well, it works both ways. I've learned in the last 5-years in particular, not to continue to drain my time and energy with clients who are not connecting with my coaching style. The reality of this is, the time and energy drain isn't ONLY within that client session. It carries with you beyond that, into the rest of the day; my work with other clients, my focus and attention to studying, written work and/or creative work and into my personal life. THAT is NOT anything I'm interested in any more. I've learned to protect it fiercely, without apology.
2) Scheduling. My schedule for YEARS was "for the client". I have to work when the clients are available. This IS true, but there CAN be a balance. Over the past handful of years, I've been able to gradually create that. Want to know my secret? Two actually.
a) Learn to say "No". Without reason. Without apology. "Sorry, I'm not available at that time." No more than that is necessary. We can use this same tactic in our personal lives as well by the way.
b) You have to practice STICKING to that boundary you set for yourself. Don't bend. Being flexible with it for others, means you take away YOUR time. Especially when most of us are giving SO MUCH to EVERYONE else and/or our jobs rather than ourselves, YOU need boundaries to protect YOUR wellbeing.
3) Pricing. For years I drastically underpriced my services. In the context of time and energy, it's been just in the last 3-years that side of things has begun to become clearer for me. ANY service we pay for is not for "that moment" per say other than the professionals time and energy. The rest of the cost is going to the years or decades of experience, training, study etc. That's a reasonable exchange. It took me up until a few years ago to really realize that my time and energy is being negatively impacted because of how I priced my services. I had to work more hours, see more people and therefore have less energy and less time for things like continuing education, working on the business etc. Once again, this is still a work in progress. But now I can work less hours and have a balance between in person work and work "behind the scenes" for myself and clients (study, continuing education, background client work etc, which I also enjoy) When you have those boundaries and that understanding of balance, it GIVES you both TIME and ENERGY which is a very cool paradox really.
4) Staying true to you (Allowing evolution in your career and personal life). This is one I'm very proud of. I don't feel I've "learned" this in the past handful of years, as I've been doing it for the majority of my career, but I feel like I'm understanding the deeper WHY and "ah-ha's" in doing so only over the last few years. As my philosophies, beliefs and approaches became less aligned with athletes and the sports conditioning side of things, I gradually (and smoothly) stepped away and allowed myself to follow those passions in my work. I think the REALLY cool thing has been over the past 5-years and how my evolution of my career has deepened into particular areas of passion and vision.
The ability to stay true to you is another way that we GAIN time and energy for ourselves. There have been pockets of time in the last few years, where I've stayed working with a client or service that I am NOT connecting with anymore due to the fact that it was not in line with the direction I'm heading in my work. That is WILDLY draining on you. When we align with our passions, philosophies and who we are as an individual, the work and experiences GIVES us time and energy! It's become a real lesson just in the past couple years of reminding me to TRUST THAT INSTINCT and TRUST that good things will happen if I stay true to ME. The right people, the right work and the right outcomes will fall into place NATURALLY over time, because I AM MORE PRESENT and CONNECTED with the work I'm doing. So cool!
Lesson 5: Balancing our nervous system is arguably MORE important today than EVER before
I've lived it in the past 5-years, as many of us have, and I am still practicing this care and balance of this amazingly powerful part of our physiology and deep health. Yes, we can certainly say "but there is more knowledge about the impact of our nervous system today than there was decades ago", however the reason it's MORE important today in my opinion is because there is MORE turning "on" on our nervous system than EVER before in human history. MORE distraction, MORE options and opportunities, LESS recovery time. It's all happened so fast, that along the way there was NO time to learn how to still be a HEALTHY HUMAN in this new world.
Just by exploring the Zen Blog you will see how this realization has unfolded for me. It's been a combination of the life stressors and experiences I'm sharing here, an increasing knowledge of stress and the impact on our deep health, through working with people every single day and through my certifications in the past 5-years. I'm well aware of how much more important this is TODAY. Even a decade ago in my career, the conversations were VERY different than they are today with clients and where people are struggling most in their health and lifestyle efforts, despite the best of intentions. People have become MORE disconnected with their physiology than EVER before in human history. Period. That disconnection, takes away our ability right from the get go to balance our nervous system.
It's the same thing as "Lesson 2" here: We have to SLOW the #$%^ down, LEARN tools and strategies to manage stress (rather than ignore it) and RE-LEARN to put ourselves FIRST for the sake of our deep health. I've lived it. I'll continue to share how these experiences impacted me in ALL ways. I'll KEEP doing my best to HELP open conversations with clients about their stress and how we can help create a better balance if they open their minds to the possibilities. It WON'T happen overnight. Neither did the build-up of the stress on your system. However, just like it built up, it can be managed and brought down if we give ourselves the attention we deserve.
Lesson 6: Adaptation is who we are as humans.
Humans have survived so long BECAUSE of our ability to ADAPT. Our physiology was designed to adapt SO WELL, that today, we can't possibly understand the things our species have endured. When it comes to health and life, I've learned the importance in the last 5-years of ADAPTING in so many ways.
It was actually the pandemic years, particularly 2020 into 2021 that got me away from the "old school" approach to training/coaching. I didn't get how "online coaching" could work. Yet when you're thrown into a scenario where you CAN'T work in person, you're suddenly more open to exploring new means. Now in 2026, I have still barely scratched the surface with the advantages for both client and coach, of online, asynchronous and/or hybrid coaching. I continue to learn and grow in that area, and it continues to be interesting, exciting and opening a ton of ideas and possibilities.
The years between 2020-2022 really allowed me to focus on MY training and MY health as well. Namely, in HOW I approach it. It was then that I was learning about the deep health model that now is the foundation of my coaching and my own health practices. The idea that if I put my focus into listening to my body, enjoying the PROCESS, put my energy into patience and put my time into learning and re-learning things about MY physiology, I can create change. I can adapt. Like I discuss with my clients, there's even ADAPTATION within each day and week we all experience. We all NEED to RE-LEARN how to ADAPT to the ebs and flows that life brings. Some days are easy, some are hard, some feel "good", some feel "not too good"... if we learn to ADAPT, we can get MORE out of the process, we can learn about ourselves and we can feel better throughout the entire journey that is life.
Professionally I continue to ADAPT my services and offerings so they are aligned with ME. That allows me to do my best work for those who choose to work with me. That has really only started happening in the last 2-3 years. Progressively moving away from what does not work anymore (personally and professionally) into services that align with not only myself, but the clientele I WANT and CAN work with.
Yes, adaptation takes time in any form and that can be frustrating throughout the process. And that is where my next lesson comes into play...
Lesson 7: "Zoom out", to learn, stay focused and see the bigger picture
Over these 5-years, I've never written so much in my life. Not just here on the blog, but I mean in ALL ways; blogging, journaling, logging, work related info/note taking, study notes, poetry... There's some things that are more "directed" writing (like the Zen Blog) and there's some journal entries that are just random feelings, ideas and/or thoughts going on on a given day.
It was just early this year when I was looking back on some things professionally and realizing "Wow! I AM moving in the direction I want to go!" I use the term often with clients; "Zoom out". When clients are frustrated with progress or getting down on themselves for an "off week", I encourage them to zoom out. Look at the bigger picture for a clearer picture of what's going on. I do take my own advice and really have been utilizing that term with myself. When I am in my head thinking, "things aren't moving forward in my work", "they're not changing the way I want them to",or "I'm so far from where I want to be with the type of work I want to do". But when I "zoom out" (both in thought and in reading back in notes/journals/work stats etc) I can see that I have PROGRESSIVELY moved in the direction I WANT in my work!! It's pretty exciting to realize it actually. It's just like our conversations as client-coach, when I remind my client that the SMALLEST step in the right direction IS A STEP IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION. Am I different than I was last year? Am I moving the direction I want to (no matter how fast or slow)?
In my personal health, especially since my experiences from 2021-2024 that is also the case. It was the spring of 2024 when I started to dive into my health deeper. Seeking help myself, and putting more focus on HEALING. September 2024 was when my coaching staff and I resigned, and when I "zoom out" and look at my health since then, it has progressively changed in the right direction. If I focus on ONE DAY or ONE WEEK, I can't see that and it's much easier to lose focus, change things up or get down on yourself. When we "zoom out" we can maintain focus, positive energy and TRUST in the process.
Lesson 8: Action Precedes Motivation
I learned this in my SRR certification and I use it ALL THE TIME personally and professionally. Doing nothing to create change, creates NO change. Complaining about something or wishing it away, does NOT make it go away. ACTION makes things happen. There's so many examples of this over just these 5-years we're focused on here...
-We rent a home now (since the fall of 2022) and were able to regain some stability after the living situation chaos, because we asked! Seriously. Our landlord is the partner of a past client of Shawna's. He had the house for sale. We shared the WHOLE story with them and asked if he didn't sell would he be willing to rent. 4-years later he is 100% our ANGEL. He's been nothing short of amazing to us and it's all because we just asked (i.e. we took action).
-My health moved back into a place where I (finally) feel in control again. This goes back beyond these last 5-years. I haven't had control of my health like I feel now, today, for well over a decade. It was always work, clients, and business first. I spent years running on fumes. None of it, ZERO, happened by chance. It all happened by action. Recognizing what was NOT serving my health, seeking help from other professionals, having open conversations about it with those people and others (like my wife and best friends), continuing to LEARN and RE-LEARN what helps MY physiology and stepping AWAY from ANYTHING that pulled me further from myself (eg: social media, energy draining volunteer positions etc). All of these ACTIONS CREATED the MOTIVATION I continue to feel today.
-The mindset that we have in our approach to our health NEEDS our attention. If you are not finding consistency in your health efforts, it's probably because you need to consider HOW you're approaching it. When we learn to approach our health in a more relaxed, enjoyable and do-able way, consistency (and therefore motivation) more easily finds its way in. I've lived this over the past 5-years and share it regularly. There's days where I do more. There's days where I do less. Just as nature intended. It's NOT a full out, all the time effort. It's a consistent effort in making sure I am a priority EVERY day, whether it's for 10min or a few hours. That type of action allows you to VERY EASILY see how motivation follows. I'm constantly fascinated by the simplicity of it.
Thank you for taking the time to read through this milestone post. As much as it's not easy to revisit some of these moments for me, it IS actually a good feeling when we recognize WHAT WE LEARNED from the good and/or not so good experiences in our lives. It also allows us to see that things can run deeper than what we see on the surface. Even the "negative experiences" have positives within. The question is; Do you take the time to reflect and take in those experiences, so that you CAN take something useful with you moving forward?
I'll leave this 300th blog post with a reminder for us all:
We're NOT perfect. We DON'T need to be.
We're human.
Humans are a CONSTANT work in progress.
And that's NOT a bad thing.
That means we're learning, growing and changing in this ONE life we all are lucky enough to experience.
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