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"I've Been Bad"
I run three "Redefining Strong" groups currently here at the studio. These are 30min, general strength and mobility sessions for ages 60+. One of those three groups, takes July and August off each summer since they're often away and busy in the summer months.
Before we got this group started back this week, I thought I'd reach out to them and check-in on whether or not participants kept up some sort of strength/mobility habit during their time away, so that I can get an idea of whether I should progress, regress or maintain things here in regards to the session program. I received two types of responses from all contacted:
"No, I haven't done anything. I've been bad."
and
"No, I haven't done anything, I've been lazy."
A mindset we NEED to part ways with
Here is the "This or That" mindset at work. THIS is how MOST of us are approaching health and wellbeing; like a child dealing with an authority figure.
"Were you a good boy/girl and 'do your homework'?"...
"You're going to be grounded if you didn't do as you were told!"....
"I'm very disappointed in you young man/lady"....
Like we're 5-years old!
You don't "HAVE" to do ANYTHING if you don't want!!! You're an adult. In my participant's cases - they're 60yrs or older. You can CHOOSE to DO or NOT DO, anything. You don't have to answer to anyone for your choices OR feel bad about whatever choice YOU made!
Then why do we speak in a way like we are talking to an authority or guardian?!??!?
AND why are speaking that way in our own head!?!?
*Important note: With the "Redefining Strong" programs, all participants know it's a GENERAL program. There's no coaching beyond the program. They're all aware that the option of more in depth, personal coaching is there if they want to pursue it. We're able to keep cost down for participants by making it general and staying within the context of the program, until they desire anything more individually.
Now, knowing those details, let's ask again;
Why then do we speak about ourselves / our habits like I (the professional) will be disappointed in you (the client) OR like you've broken some "rule"???
We also need to ask....
When has that mentality EVER work for anyone???
Most people have been talking to themselves in that way about their health habits (or lack of) for years or even decades. Don't you think it's time we start looking for a NEW APPROACH??!! Clearly this mentality hasn't helped has it??
Here's some reasons WHY most likely the participants didn't do anything to maintain the habit while they were off:
Priorities are NOT what they think
This shows that the priorities are NOT quite what we think. When something is a true priority for us, WE FIND A WAY TO MAKE IT WORK don't we? Appointments scheduled, bills to pay, getting to work, caring for our kids etc. All priorities that we MAKE happen.
Granted, I truly believe that 99% of people who say they "want to create positive change in their health and lifestyle" MEAN IT, I also believe that it's NOT as high up on their priority list as THEY BELIEVE IT IS. That's okay though! This simply means you need to meet yourself WHERE YOU'RE AT right now.
There's not one participant across my groups who doesn't see/feel value in their sessions. That's why we're starting a third group. That's why one group is celebrating 1-year and the other (the group we're discussing here) is coming into their 2nd year. They feel good when they do it! But that's when they have a time/place to go each week to do it. At home, there's NOTHING to remind them OR entice them to do it on their own ... yet.
There is no "system" in place
When they are coming to the studio each week, 2x per week for 30min it's a routine that's engrained in their week. When they take a couple months away from that routine, there's nothing replacing it at home in a similar way. There's also no planning ahead to ensure there's a system they'll follow for themselves once they stop for a couple months, in order to keep their habit going.
Once the sessions stop for July and August and they begin to move through their weeks, there is just a "blank canvas" of "maybe I could do 'x'". All this does is creates over-thinking, unnecessary stress and possibilties of what a habit at home "could look like", but with NO ACTION attached.
The MYTH of "lazy"
I always giggle at the "lazy" comment people tell themselves. Most of us are FAR from lazy.
STRESSED out? - Yes.
TOO MUCH SCREEN TIME? - Yes, Yes.
WORKING TOO MUCH BEYOND WORK HOURS? - Yes.
UNBALANCED in your energy - Yep.
OVER-SCHEDULING and OVER-COMMITTING OURSELVES? - Absolutely 100%.
NONE of these things screams "lazy". You have NOTHING LEFT energy wise to do much (including brain power) after all of this stuff is in your every day!! In addition to that, the things you feel you "should do" for your health are WELL BEYOND your ability (physically, mentally and emotionally) RIGHT NOW. So of course, you're NOT going to do them - You have NOTHING LEFT to do it with! AND those habits are NOT your priority right now.
On top of all of that, you CURRENTLY have habits in place in your daily life. Some of which you don't even realize are habits - You're in autopilot. That's the brain's awesome evolutionary way of conserving energy by the way!
You're NOT lazy!
We need a RESET in MINDSET!
Step 1: Recognize that the "same old mentality" HASN'T served you over LONG PERIODS of time - which means, TIME FOR A CHANGE!
Step 2: Make a DAILY priorities list. What is IMPORTANT to YOU to get done in the day. (This may help you see why there may not be room right now for another/new habit)
Step 3: If you have the capability to start working in a health practice, START SO EASY YOU THINK IT'S STUPID!! Seriously. (For example: Do 2 body weight exercises while your morning coffee/tea is brewing. JUST TWO. OR go for a walk around your block EVERY DAY when you get home from work, BEFORE you go in the house).
Step 4: Do the EASY practice, OFTEN. Make it a priority in your day. BUILD FROM THERE.
This is where many of us can benefit from some guidance and support. Discussions such as this one surrounding our mindset and that internal voice, is not available to most of us. MOST OF US are discussing with our friends and family members, the latest diet trend or "most amazing world changing" exercise that some random social media guru shared this morning in your feed.
It's no one's fault that we DON'T KNOW how to recognize this within ourselves or how to CREATE the change we TRULY WANT. That's where coaching can help.
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