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We Need a SHIFT in our own Head
- Derek Arsenault (CSEP-CPT, PN1)
- Aug 3
- 8 min read
I've spoken on the topic of age and "getting older" here on the blog several times, and I'm sure I'll continue to do so. Like right now for example.
I connected some dots this morning, on this holiday Monday, and it lead me to wanting to write before I have breakfast and get on with the rest of my day. "Aging" is a topic of discussion I deal with regularly both in my work and personal life for the past several years. I have many friends who are older than me, nearly all my clients are older than me and of course, as I get older so do family members. Conversations that used to focus on sports or life topics, have shifted to the constant chatter of aches, pains, injuries, the "I can't do's", the "I need to do's", people comparing medications or (almost) bragging about how many they need to take...
Of course I'm going to hear this regularly when I CHOOSE to surround myself with people older than me! My thoughts today as I sipped my coffee this morning helped me shift, just a little bit more, in the direction I NEED to continue to move in if I want to continue to offer coaching and support to those who WANT it.
What they Know
It's draining hearing all the "doom and gloom" of ageing. Thankfully, with my work I don't fully believe it. I also, don't fully blame people for believing what they do when it comes to getting older. Afterall, that's "what they know".
As my client roster evolved over nearly a decade now since stepping away from working with athletes, my clients are predominantly mid-life to older age. This generation was raised in a way that saw their parents and grandparents, truly get older/age;
Less active
Less able
Less vibrant / energetic
More sedentary
More 'stuck in their ways'
More likely to have moved from neglecting their hobbies and themselves in favour of work, to retirement years where they feel "lost"
That was what "getting older" looked like to this generation as they grew up. That has been engrained in so many people from that generation as they became adults themselves.
"What they know" is very different health wise than what we know today in 2026 (and it's forever changing - as it always has been). The understanding of human physiology and deep health (Physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, social and environmental) simply wasn't available to the older generations as it is for the current generations.
I'll add on top of that, that my generation is arguably the first generation to truly grow up with such "speed of change" in the way we live our lives and how quickly human advancements are happening. Therefore arguably, we are (slightly) more willing to ADAPT. I'm from the 1900's. 1982 to be exact (great year for obvious reasons 😂). Technically, I'm a Millenial but really it depends on where you look and/or how you look at it. Us '82 babies are kind of in this grey area of "generational titles". Regardless, I know for a fact (because I've lived it) that we are the last generation to remember a time BEFORE our tech ruled the world and our lives. My generation knows life with and without the internet and modern household technologies.
Why the "Negatives" of Ageing are so Abundant
I feel this is due to a couple reasons....
1) It's out there in our society. North America is AWFUL in how we think about and approach ageing. We 'shove life aside', we focus on all the things we "can't do" and we end up living out our final years often in nursing homes or completely dependant on others. In other cultures around the world, older adults are MORE ACTIVE, MORE ABLE and INDEPENDANT, and held in much higher regard. They're not cast aside. They are people that younger generations seek out for wisdom and guidance on how to live such a full life.
2) It's who we spend most of our time with. Because I enjoy the company of those older than me, naturally I'm going to hear more talk about age and all the "perils of getting older".
*Disclaimer: Yes, this mindset and attitude absolutely drives me nuts! Why?? Because I know it's not how things "have to be". It comes down to our CHOICES (past and present), LIFESTYLE, HABITS and our MINDSET. It's truly NEVER too late to change. However, regardless of age we have to be WILLING to change.
However, please note, this discussion/topic also FASCINATES me and I truly enjoy navigating this in my work and personal health practices. Working with others and their attitudes towards ageing only helps me with future clients and in my own personal health and lifestyle approach.
Cognitive Distortions Rule in this "Realm"
Cognitive distortions are ABUNDANT in our health and lifestyle, and although we're not going to dive into them in great detail in this post, it is a LARGE part of my work with clients in their efforts to create positive change.
Krista Scott-Dixon (PhD) of Precision Nutrition, reminds us that...
"Cognitive distortions just reflect how the quirky human brain works. Our highly-evolved (and woefully error-prone) brains naturally tend to:
Over-focus on perceived threats and negativity
Make judgments with only partial information
Over-generalize, taking facts about a single, specific situation and applying them to everything"
When it comes to "getting older", our MINDSET is the first thing that NEEDS to SHIFT. This is tough for many people to accept that what they've SEEN from their elders and what they've PERCEIVED as "ageing" is NOT the only way to live. It's also NOT a must.
There are many stories (some shared here on the Zen Blog as well) that ANYONE can find that exemplifies what older adults CAN do in the latter stages of life. What all of these positive examples have in common is that the "older person" in every one of these stories, refused to "go with the flow" of society. They CHOSE to BELIEVE that CHANGE IS POSSIBLE at ANY AGE. For some actually, NOTHING changed. They've been living on their own path for years and/or decades which has lead them to more independant and enjoyable later years in life.
Part of cognitive distortions is how we talk to ourselves and others on a regular basis. This is where we now KNOW the impact our "mental chatter" (that 'inner voice') has on our every day wellbeing. Our parents and grandparents generation DID NOT know this - to no fault of their own. That information was NOT available to them. The more we tell ourselves and those around us things like...
"Old age will do that"
"I'm just getting old"
"That's what old age does"
"My body is breaking down"
"I can't do 'x'..."
... the more we ACTUALLY LIVE IT!!
Start with Small Shifts NOW, at ANY age
STOP telling yourself all the things you "can't do". In my experience working with people for 25-years now, most of us CAN DO WAY MORE than we realize. Yes, maybe we need to do it differently / modify how we do something, but we CAN do it! The "mental trap" we get caught in builds up because we STOP doing something completely and/or actively avoid it. THAT is what ages us - not the perceived "inability".
Therefore... START focusing on what you CAN do and do it often. (We can also argue this is just a nicer way to live, no?)
FIND like minded people. If you spend the majority of your time with friends or family who do NOTHING to create change and just complain about "old age", you're increasing your risk of YOU NOT CHANGING. In order to change, distance yourself from those conversations and mindsets being your normal interactions. NO ONE will have an easy time changing anything when that negativity is what rules your days. For example, if someone who lives you tells you daily how "useless", "worthless" and/or "awful" you are, no matter what in time you WILL live that reality inside. The "it's just old age" or "I'm too old" statement that plays daily over and over, is doing the SAME thing!!
Therefore... SEEK out like-minded people who WANT to create positive change and who motivate you to shift towards positive energy and mindsets.
Remind yourself that you are INVESTING in "Future You". As we touched on here, past generations have focused so much on working, pushing themselves to be able to afford to retire, that once they get there they realize they've set THEMSELVES (their hobbies, their joy etc) aside and it's harder to find it after decades of shoving those things aside.
Therefore... INVEST in "Future You" by taking action NOW. At ANY age, you can start creating a solid foundation and a healthy lifestyle for your future self (inside and out). Discover and/or re-kindle hobbies, try and experience new things etc...
Be REAL with yourself. I'm not denying that as we get older, we need to ADJUST/MODIFY things, maybe we physically CAN'T get away with doing something in the same way anymore... but that doesn't mean we just throw our arms in the air and blame it on age. Yes, sometimes we've beaten our body up in the past which has impacted how it feels today. Sometimes in those cases however, we also haven't provided the body the means to heal/recover well from the past experiences - we've just kind of avoided things or "let things take their course".
Therefore... Stop believing the voice in your head and be REAL with yourself. "I feel this way because I am NOT doing anything to change it" or "My body can't do 'x' now because of something in the past, but I CAN do it 'this way' / I CAN do this INSTEAD".
Life brings seasons of change.
We feel "stuck" and create stories in our heads (eg: "it's just old age") when we are NOT willing to shift, change and adapt to the chapter in life that is in play right now. As frustrating and draining as it can be to be surrounded by these mindsets at times, one of the positives I take from it is that it helps me define WHAT I WANT and DON'T WANT as life moves forward...
I WANT my independance
I WANT to feel ABLE
I WANT to have ENERGY to DO THINGS in life (big or small)
I WANT to LIVE life, not let it slip by
I WANT to CREATE and PLAY
I WANT to always be a BIG KID AT HEART - recognizing I'm "never too old"
I DON'T want to use age as my EXCUSE
I DON'T want a "number" to dictate what I'm CAPABLE of
I DON'T want to dwell on the "I CANT'S"
I DON'T want to "give up on living life"
I DON'T want to be part of "the norm"
I'm learning as I move through my years and decades that it's okay to "let some things go", especially after years or decades of positives in experiencing the activity/choice. I CHOOSE however, to ensure that I either MODIFY or REPLACE it with something else that I ENJOY and that I'm CAPABLE of. This keeps me going, allows me to have joy in my life and keeps those "mental traps" far away from dragging me down.
ANYONE reading this can START their SHIFT RIGHT NOW, simply by the WILLINGNESS to accept that "old age" is a symptom of our MINDSET and APPROACH to life, more than our "lack of capabilities".
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