Client Story: Our own STORIES Hold us Back from Joy

I have a client who enjoys playing "World of Warcraft" (WOW). WOW is an online game where your character that you build up in abilities/skills, takes part in raids and battles with other players. My client loves playing online with his adult son who lives several hours from him. He also plays with a friend in another province and some other people. It's a fun hobby for him that he enjoys.

The thing with these types of games is you need to be online at the same time as your fellow teammates to battle together. Recently he was sharing the uncertainty and frustration that he may have to be online sooner in the evening, because one or two of the team couldn't "go on their raid" at the usual later evening time that particular day. His response with frustration to that was, "that just doesn't work for me".

STAY WITH ME - Here comes the point of this post... 😁

I asked him; "How doesn't that 'work for you'? You're retired. What else is going on that night that you can't play the game at that time?"

He answered; "Well when it's earlier like that, my wife will get all upset."

Me: "WHY is that? You're retired and you're an adult."

Then the truth came out - He was ASSUMING she would get mad. He really didn't KNOW. 🫣

Our Own Stories Hold us Back from Joy

Think about this;

My client enjoys playing this game in general. Add in his son and friends playing together and it's that much more enjoyable for him. It's fun! Yet what holds him back from a more enjoyable experience is his own mind and the stories it tells him. That's it! It takes 1-2 things to make his hobby reality at that time in this particular situation...

1) Go play the game at the time the group planned if it works for HIM.

2) Mention it to your wife and have a conversation to dicuss why he wants to / needs to play at the earlier time.

Most days I have my fun time (some more, some less - but always present). Here's an example of "my zen" as Shawna puts it 😃. Playing board games.

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We CAN have MORE JOY and FUN in our everyday if we LET ourselves have it! It plays an important role in our deep health. Here's a reminder of a few things that can HOLD US BACK from experiencing it on a regular basis:

• False Assumptions

• Sacrifice (work and/or "what others want" instead of our own wants)

• Avoiding conversation (Just talk to your spouse / partner)

The concern is when these three things become your NORM. It becomes a PRACTICE to hold yourself, your fun, and your happiness back more often than not. What we practice most, becomes our reality.

We TRULY do get in our own way more often than we realize. When it sacrifices ENJOYMENT and FUN, it directly impacts our wellbeing over time. Yes, there are certainly times when others or other things (like work or other commitments for example) may take away your hobby time. The FACT is, we're letting that BE our REALITY more often than not. There's NO BALANCE for so many people. It isn't just happening here and there, but instead, we're setting our joy aside as a regular practice.

How weird is it that we have to say to each other;

GO HAVE FUN! LET YOURSELF HAVE FUN!!! 😳

As kids we DREAM of a life where we can do WHATEVER we WANT. When we become adults, we've LEARNED to find "reasons" to NOT DO THE FUN THINGS everyday. And most of the time, that barrier to our own joy is built in our own head.

We live ONCE. We're BEYOND lucky to even have THAT chance! Why NOT have FUN, JOY, SMILES, LAUGHTER and EXPERIENCES as a REGULAR part of your life??? It won't be 100% of the time, but it certainly can be present in WHO YOU ARE and what YOU CHOOSE TO DO, for YOURSELF most days.