Client Story: 15lbs WITHOUT Force

A client recently shared the story of stepping on the scale for the first time in quite a long while, and was greeted with a number 15lbs lower than where she was before when she last stepped on the scale.

BUT the number is NOT the biggest part of this story....

The Approach

My client's long term goal is comfort and confidence on the plane ride next year when she flys out west to her brother's wedding. She's experienced in the past, the discomfort, stigma and emotional load of sitting in plane seats, theatre seats, vehicle seats etc and being totally uncomfortable. Yes, a number on the scale will help the goal but ultimately it's the FEELING, EXPERIENCE and EMOTION that is the key target.

I've shared some stories before about this client already here on the blog, (including this one that paints a picture about what the outcomes are that she's experienced and how she's approached working with a coach). All posts that share her efforts are showing that she's putting the things we discuss into practice.

The BIG over-arching thing we've worked with together is her past experience, which is common with many. That FULL OUT, "FORCING CHANGE TO HAPPEN" (and quickly) approach which in the end had her physically injured, emotionally down on herself, drained and set back in her goals. Our approach together has been about the SMALL WINS, the DO-ABLE habits and RE-LEARNING how to LISTEN to her body. As well as the idea that it's TOTALLY okay to have a day where you're doing LESS and days where you're GIVING IT A GOOD PUSH!

The progress and "wins" have come with TIME, PATIENCE and CONSISTENCY

She doesn't often step on the scale. Like so many of us, in the past she would become hyper-focused on the number the scale showed her. Also like many of us, if that number wasn't what she "thought it 'should' be" the day would be totally ruined OR her efforts have been "for nothing".

Over our work together, the conversations have stayed focused on how SHE FEELS, what SHE'S DOING and THINKING in terms of her lifestyle habits, HOW she can adjust based on what she's feeling on certain weeks or days. It's allowed her to BE CONSISTENT in her habits over time. She doesn't beat herself up for having a "lighter day" or for feeling tired when she 'should' be doing something else". She's recognizing WHY some days she's more drained and WHAT helps her recover well so she can put practices into action in the days to come.

The CONCIOUS CHOICE to step on the scale

She shared with me, in such a healthy and positive way, her reason for stepping on the scale which came with a VERY different mindset than in the past. This was a concious choice and it came from a place of curiousity rather than pressure/stress. Not to mention, there had been plenty of time since she last stepped on the scale at near the start of the year. I wanted to ensure I shared this message accurately, because it's such a powerful thing. Therefore are HER words about her choice to step on that scale again...

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"This was kinda almost a test for myself. Thinking back to how the scale impacted me so greatly and would affect my whole day. So this was me getting on the scale and putting everything we've talked about, in terms of mindset, to the test. I reminded myself that no matter what it said it doesn't mean I have been working my ass off or trying my best. And it just so happened to work out with it being down 15lbs - But again it was more about how I feel after rather then the actual number." 

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When the scale showed that she had lost 15lbs, she was happy and this time it was from a place of being PROUD of what SHE had done. It gave her the ability to see how SHE created that shift WITHOUT FORCE. She didn't rush anything, nothing felt drastically hard, she didn't "should herself" into thinking what the scale "should" show... She just PUT IN the work, as she was ABLE to each day, week and month.

And no it wasn't all smooth! Some weeks she'd come in down on herself because "she didn't do anything" (usually this came about in those stressful work weeks - meanwhile she actually DID plenty DESPITE being a tough week!). Other weeks she'd come in with a bundle of excitement and energy from the things she recognized she had done FOR HERSELF and HER HEALTH and/or from recognizing things that made her feel good throughout the week.

What's the moral of this story?

Patience and consistent effort.

AND a much needed CULTURAL shift in HOW we think about and approach "weight loss".

We say "we know" this (patience and effort), but our actions/words say otherwise. For most people IMPATIENCE is what keeps them from reaching their goals. With impatience comes FORCE. When we try to FORCE Mother Nature (our physiology) into change, it either backfires OR it's temporary.

In my client's case, we weren't "directly targeting" weight loss. Instead, we've been focused on habits, mindset and DOING things CONSISTENTLY. Weight loss would be the "symptom" of providing the environment for her body to change. And she lost weight! Now some may read this and think, "15lbs? That's not much". Oh no???

-Carry a 15lbs dumbbell around all day long...

-Next time you say to someone "did you lose weight?" and they say "Ya! I've lost 10lbs" (that's less than 15lbs by the way - and we often notice that change in someone!)

-That's more than "the last 10lbs" so many people chase (like it's a magical number to health and happiness)

I hope that most reading the ZEN BLOG have read long enough to NOT be saying that in their minds. But just in case we have some new visitors (also nice if so), let's use my favourite reminders that work AGAINST pop-culture / modern society....

• When someone says "I want to lose weight" - ANY weight that is LESS than where they are IS LOSING WEIGHT!

• Strength Coach Michael Boyle once shared how MOST adults GAIN 2lbs per year. That means if you JUST STAY THE SAME WEIGHT (weighing at the start and end of the year), you're doing better than MOST people you know!

• If a client loses 5lbs this year - they still lost weight! That means at the end of the year you can say "I'm lighter than I was in January!". In 2-years (hypothetically) you lose another 5lbs. You're now 10lbs lighter. By Michael Boyle's point, most of your friends would be nearly 5lbs heavier in 2-years. Think about it!

• My client lost 15lbs with (seemingly) little effort, especially compared to her past approach. Let's say (hypothetically) she stays the same weight to end the year. She'll be 15lbs lighter than she was. If the same happens again, she'll have dropped 30lbs before getting into that plane to head to her brother's wedding. Meanwhile she's ALREADY experienced change in the experience of this type of thing (shared in the blog post linked earlier)!!

Therefore, EVERYTHING is on track for her to REACH HER GOAL and THEN SOME! And I'll say it one last time - with SEEMINGLY, little effort and stress attached to her health goals.