Move Away from the "This or That" Mindset

"Good vs Bad" and/or "Right vs Wrong" need to find their way OUT of our minds when it comes to our health and lifestyle.

It's all how we VIEW things.

I recently asked a client if I could share a post about her, to which she was happy for me to do so.

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She said (half jokingly I believe): "I finally did something valuable enough to have Derek write about me in a blog post."

I replied: "I've made you 'famous' here before I'm sure! (And thank you, it's happening!)"

Her response: "Only for all the things I do "wrong"😭" 

My reply: "There's no "right" or "wrong" except that statement" 

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Welcome to our usual banter 🤣. But it had me thinking about the entire "Good vs Bad" and "Right vs Wrong" conversations and how much better we would feel and how much more consistent we can be, if we practice moving "this or that" comparisons out of our mindsets and our practices.

We've discussed in past posts how nothing in health (and life for that matter) is typically "just one thing". Life and our human physiology is WAY more complex than that. We've also talked about how health is individualized. What works for one, will not work for another in the same way. In knowing those two FACTS, we can immediately begin to see that "Good vs Bad" or "Right vs Wrong" becomes a redundant mindset.

Your Coach is NOT there to scold you like a 4-year old

Coaching others in Health and Wellness is like being a detective, artist and scientist wrapped into one (+ a few other professions). Since everyone is different in physiology, lifestyle, personality and experiences, every client is a puzzle to put together. And we do that TOGETHER. What pieces fit for this client, and what pieces don't. Though a magnifying glass won't help us find clues in this case; Only action and discussions will do that. It's also like being a scientist, experimenting with different combinations of ingredients to create an outcome; utilizing a hypothesis, method and conclusion. The "artistic" side of coaching comes from working WITH the client's individual personality and the little life nuances each person brings with them to their coaching experience. Keeping people's minds in check when they feel they "failed" and keeping them "lifted up" when they hit their targets (without going overboard at the same time).

But there's no "drill sargeant" side to coaching. That's an old-school stereotype and mentality, that honestly has NO PLACE in working with people in 2026.

As a Coach, I'm not looking for "right or wrong", I'm looking for opportunities to guide, educate and clarify reality for my clients by being that outside perspective. I speak from experience, that when we're in the thick of "trying to figure things out" we're blind to what's really working or not working and/or what path to take to move in a direction of positive change. That's where a Coach can help provide that neutral view point.

When I DO think "right or wrong" comes into play 👇

1. When a person doesn't take action BUT complains about their health/ailments anyway

2. When a person doesn't TRY to utilize advice or ideas to better their health, but continues to complain

THAT is WRONG in my opinion.

When a Coach discovers a barrier (physical or mental) that may be preventing a client from creating the habits and lifestyle he/she want, that's not saying they're "doing something wrong". That's helping the client LEARN what is possibly holding them back so they can begin to tear that barrier down for themselves. That doesn't make them "wrong". That makes them HUMAN.

The Idea of "This vs That" could be your Biggest Barrier in Health

The other side to this conversation, is the fact that YOUR HEALTH is YOURS. No one elses. By having a mentality of "am I doing this right?" or "is my Coach going to be 'mad at me?", you're putting your health into someone else's hands. You're no longer doing it for YOU!!

Imagine approaching EVERY, SINGLE thing that you do for your health and wellbeing from the standpoint of what YOU want and what YOU are WILLING to do.

Imagine the weight that would lift off your shoulders by not feeling the need to impress or please ANYONE except yourself.

Imagine how THAT would create consistency and enjoyment in your health practices on it's own.

Think about it. All of our thoughts and emotions use ENERGY. All these extra thoughts and emotions every day like, "am I doing this right?" or "will so-and-so be happy with this?", they wouldn't be there if we can practice moving away from "right vs wrong" or "good vs bad". That would promote an increased clarity of mind, energy and wellbeing in itself. It would shift out the "shoulds" and "have to's" surrounding your health and leave you only the things that work for YOU!

That opens a TON of doors for you doesn't it?

Seek COLLABORATION

When you hire a health professional (Health & Wellness Coach, Physio, Chiropractor etc...), hire him/her with the mindset of seeking collaboration. A teammate. Someone who will help walk along the path to health WITH you, to bounce ideas, thoughts and experiences off of, to help you see strengths and weaknesses within yourself that you may be blind to while you're in the "thick of life" and/or "healthy lifestyle info-overload". Collaborate with the professional through good communication and action, on both sides. And set aside the old idea that your Coach (or other professional) is waiting to call out "rights and wrongs".

We're all human. And NOTHING is wrong if you're LEARNING about yourself and how to create a healthy, happy you!