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The title of this post, is the exact message I received this week from a client. I wanted to share this story with you, our wonderful Zen Blog readers/followers because it shows us two things;
The state of mind MOST people are in when it comes to health goals
How I approach my coaching with clients
First - A little context...
-This client is in her late 50's and works Monday-Friday (9am-5pm type job)
-This client, as of last fall, was dealing with severe pain and discomfort for unknown reasons.
-This client, who was consistent with her exercises on her own prior to this (she loves her "walking videos" at home), was no longer able to do her routines due to the pain and had a very physically, mentally and emotionally challenging end to 2023 and into this year in that regard.
-We began working together at the start of this year (2024) in addition to her physiotherapy.
-She has little to no tools to manage her stress and often has had alot on the go at one time. (We have had discussions around this aspect of health a few times and continue to work to progress this)
-She got back into golf in May and has been able to continue this throughout the summer 1-2 times per week
-She is an "All or Nothing" mindset type person (which we are also working with)
-She received a medical diagnosis in July of this year and is learning more about her condition that she will need to manage the rest of her life.
Two weeks ago we had a coaching session and discussed where she's at and how she'd like to create positive change, especially as she continues to learn more about her condition/diagnosis.
-She mentioned she'd like to get moving more. She considered chair yoga as a possible option, but really was just lost as to the "What" and "How" to move at this point.
-She said she hadn't exercised in 2.5 months and feels "fatter". I reminded her that she has been golfing regularly - and that is a form of activity/exercise to which she agreed.
-We discussed her lack of stress management tools as well, with "emotional/stress eating" being her only real means to do so at this point.
*Another side context layer - Her doctor said she can golf; but no walking. She can do yoga; but not intensely. And ensure plenty bouts of rest. (Sadly, this is still too generalized for most people in my opinion, as this can mean something different to everyone).
The Plan
The plan we discussed together from our session a couple weeks ago was the following:
-Continue to golf 1-2x per week
-I sent a couple basic yoga sessions to experiment with (10-15min in length) and to see if she likes them or not, and if she's able to. (We also discussed possibly exploring a bit of Qi Gong or Tai Chi if she'd like)
-Worksheets to explore to dive deeper into practicing working out of the "all or nothing" mindset and to help her discover foods that are or are not working for her and her condition based on how she feels, her likes/dislikes etc
-Finally we set a target to, in 3-weeks time (providing she's consistent), we would aim to implement her walking videos again, once per week to see how she feels. The idea being we build her confidence back up in her ability TO DO her videos and not stress about hurting herself.
*This was 2-weeks ago....
What happened next....
This client works in my app as well, so I sent her the target reminders and things we discussed, along with the couple worksheets. She was all set up in the app to begin the next day (Friday). On Monday, her calendar in the app was empty, so I thought I'd check in. She shared that she was dealing with some pain in her hip over the weekend, but was feeling a bit better that morning.
This week she sent a message Monday morning saying she had to drop her husband to work and so she took a walk around the industrial park that morning... OUTSIDE (that's big for this client!). She said her hip was still sore for some unknown reason though. I reminded her how her decision to take advantage of that change in routine, get a little movement and to get some fresh air was an awesome choice! Her response to that message was the title of this post:
"I have to do something. I need to drop some weight."
**Insert the sounds of crickets in my head**
Stay in the NOW
Welcome to the modern day human mind. We want everything now. Wouldn't that be nice? Unfortunately, nature doesn't work that way! In this client's case, she wasn't able to do even our targets we discussed due to her hip pain so she hasn't been able to consistently put much into action over a two week period since we decided on this plan together. In that short time she went from a plan of action to "I have to drop some weight".
-If your body is in pain or uncomfortable, you are MUCH LESS LIKELY to want/be able to move CONSISTENTLY.
-If you don't create some CONSISTENCY and routine in small ways in your days/weeks within your means, your body can't adapt and create positive change.
-You can't have everything all at once. There has to be progressive steps to do things safely, effectively and sustainably moving forward. Reality is, pain management BEFORE stressing about weight loss is a solid first step for this client.
-Jumping around from one target/goal to another without creating any sort of momentum to discover what works and what doesn't, leads only to negative mindsets and unnecessary stress.
This morning as I'm writing this post, I noticed this client did ANOTHER short walk outside yesterday (two days in a row!). She said her hip is still sore, but not as bad as it was which is great. However, she also mentioned she has a crazy week ahead with a reunion she's been a part of planning for the better part of a year now, which is taking place this coming weekend... *I hear those crickets again* Now on top of the previously mentioned factors, we add the stress of this BIG project she's been working on. Meanwhile her message to start her week was "I need to drop some weight".
This client ADDING MORE to her plate and mind right now is NOT realistic or helpful to her health. It doesn't mean her goal of losing weight is "right or wrong", "good or bad" - It means put the energy into NOW and the actions she can take NOW to progress her gradually towards that goal. Focus on TODAY'S actions - not tomorrow's change.
Coach's Reminder
Humans CAN'T do everything all at once! When we begin to understand this very real fact of life, it helps us set more REALISTIC goals and expectations of ourselves. Energy is used in ALL forms; Physical, mental, emotional, social... Energy is energy. All the more reason for rest and recovery.
-When we are in pain/uncomfortable/injured - we use energy no matter how we are or are not dealing with it
-When we move we use energy
-When we stress we use energy
-When we work (mentally and physically) we use energy
-When we think, organize etc ... we use energy
We CAN'T do everything. Which also means, we CANNOT put that stress on ourselves for our body and/or mind to change when we are doing so much at any given time.
Nothing changes after 1-week, 2-weeks... even 3 or 4 weeks.
It takes time, action and consistency.
My response to my client and her message back
After my client sent the "I have to drop some weight" message, here was my reply:
"Don't get caught up in that mindset. That stress won't help. You're not even back to regular exercise! One step at a time. Focus on the good habits and feeling better most days. Your body will adjust accordingly."
Her response:
"Thank you for keeping me grounded"
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THIS IS WHAT HEALTH AND WELLNESS COACHING IS ALL ABOUT. These types of conversations. Learning how to practice a GROWTH MINDSET. Learning how to NOT build your own barriers to your health goals, but rather how to reach them, embrace the process and FEEL GOOD from the inside out. This is the side that most people don't understand (yet) of how a Health & Wellness Coach can help them.
It's beyond "sets and reps" or "distance and time".
Connect with 'Coach D' by booking a FREE discovery call online to see if coaching will help you lead the healthy lifestyle YOU WANT!
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