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Here we are at the last post in our "little" mini-series here on the Zen Blog. Taking my favourite points from Gretchen Rubin's Secrets of Adulthood and Paradoxes of Happiness lists and sharing how I relate them to deep health. These lists are found in her book "The Happiness Project".
The final point that jumped out at me:
Accept yourself, and expect more of yourself
Oh man we need to hear this! This is powerful, if you think about it. Seriously, take time to think about it... for YOU and how YOU relate to this point.
Accepting yourself
The way I take this one in relationship to our deep health, is looking at how EVERYTHING we do today is comparing to others. I see this in my health & wellness coaching and in soccer coaching. We are LACKING the ability to accept ourselves; for who we are in this moment AND for what we ARE capable of.
We are so caught up in what we "should" look like, how we "should" think or act, what other people are doing ... that we are NEVER going to be happy with ourselves and our health. We will always NEVER be enough.
We also are SO CAUGHT UP in looking at what others are doing, saying etc that we take our own energy away from doing good things for ourselves. We are so caught up in the fact that we "aren't as good as someone else" or we "don't look like that", that our energy gets sucked away from US actually taking ACTION to help ourselves.
Can you name 5 things you love about yourself? Right now. Do it. GO!
I bet you none of your points involve Netflix, social media, how many hours you worked last week, anyone else (cuz it's about YOU) or your apple watch! Just sayin'...
We spend so much time focusing EVERYWHERE else except for on ourselves. Yes I blame the internet, social media and our modern way of living - but I also blame US. If we took more of our energy and attention and put it into OUR OWN HEALTH...
...we would feel better,
...look better,
...experience more happiness,
...manage our stress better,
...improve ourselves in ways that are meaningful to US (rather than what we think we "should" improve)
Expect more of yourself
On the other side of Gretchen's point, is expecting more of yourself. In discussing overall deep health, I see this as a (hopefully) "slap in our own face" to wake us up to reality. Expecting more of yourself doesn't mean pushing yourself beyond your limits, doing things you don't want to do, stressing yourself out or exhausting yourself. But I do feel it means having a higher expectation of ourselves as a human being!
I don't know many people who WANT to be physically incapable of doing basic things...
I don't know many people who WANT to feel like poo most days of the week...
I don't know many people who WANT to negatively impact their relationships with friends/family...
I don't know many people who WANT to live a poor quality of life...
Yet THIS is more common today. THIS is how MOST people are living. Scary thought. Expecting more of ourselves (in this case in how we care for our health) promotes;
-A better QUALTIY LIFE.
-Puts YOU in CONTROL.
-Makes YOU FEEL GOOD inside and out.
-DOING something good for yourself GIVES you a regular sense of accomplishment (something that scrolling Instagram or constantly working in your free time won't)
YOU ARE IN CONTROL - ACT LIKE IT
When we were kids, we all at some point thought, "Oh man it'll be great when I'm an adult and I can do whatever I want". Well, YOU'RE THERE. ACT LIKE IT. YOU are in WAY MORE CONTROL than you think. Your choices are YOUR choices.
-If you choose to live with aches and pains, exhaustion, stress, crumbling relationships and with your face staring into a screen... DO IT - But don't complain about how you feel.
-If you choose to "sacrifice" some time each day to put INTO YOU and YOUR health ... DO IT. YOU have that choice.
We truly TRULY need to start accepting WHO WE ARE inside and out and where we're at with our deep health, without comparing to others. We also need to expect more of ourselves to care for the body and mind that GIVES us SO MUCH in this short lifetime.
BE AN ADULT. MAKE YOUR OWN CHOICES.
EVEN better... CHOOSE TO BE A HEALTHY ADULT.
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