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This point from Gretchen Rubin's Paradoxes of Happiness makes me giggle a bit... Because it's true:
Hell is other people. Heaven is other people.
The pandemic absolutely impacted this for many of us I think. Social media has definitely done the same. Technology and the concept of "now" or "instant" has pushed this along. And our divisive society has put the cherry on top.
The way I look at this statement in regards to our deep health is the impact it has on our mental, emotional, spiritual and social dimensions in particular.
I said that this statement makes me giggle, because even pre-pandemic I was starting to say this. Let me first say, I love working with people. That's one of the reasons why I do what I do for a living. As I move deeper into my career however it's no longer so straight forward. Like most things in life, this to is complex.
Before the pandemic, I spent several years speaking in my old Fitness and Health Promotion program at Loyalist College. I would speak to future colleagues there once or twice a year and loved it. One of the things I shared early on in each talk, was my answer to two common questions I get asked;
Question: What's the best thing about being a health and wellness coach?
Answer: The people
Question: What's the worst thing about being a health and wellness coach?
Answer: The people
Disclaimer- I feel blessed that the majority of people I deal with (past and present) have been wonderful. Just good humans. Those are my favourite. But, like any job, you get the odd one that makes you feel like poo, zap your energy and just drags you down even if you were having a good day..
We can all agree that a person can make you feel like a million bucks! Like you're an absolute saint, genius... best person ever!
And a person can also make you feel like absolute poop, like you're no good and even drain every bit of energy from you (whether on purpose or by accident).
In professions such as mine that serve PEOPLE, that's a tough reality that no college or university course prepares you for. And that education also does not prepare you for how YOU can protect and care for your own health in this regard.
Be Protective of Your Health and Wellbeing
I've learned the hard way in my job, that keeping people around who take more from me (mentally and emotionally) is NOT healthy for ME. By keeping my health and wellbeing as a priority, I am better able to protect my mental and emotion health AND better serve my clients. It took a long time to learn that because I truly wish I could help everyone.
But we all know that's not realistic.
All of us need to understand the value of our own piece of mind and deep health. Staying connected with someone who is mentally or emotionally impacting your health will never allow YOU to be healthy and happy in YOUR OWN LIFE. It's so important to recognize those who LIFT US UP and those who DRAG US DOWN and have the ability to keep close or distance ourselves from that person.
Protect yourself first
Life is short. Life is tough. You can't always choose who you are around (work for example or a teammate in a sport). So why do we then CHOOSE to be around others who may drag us down when we CAN control it? Why take that energy and health away from ourselves?
CHOOSE people who make you feel good. Not in a "flowers, rainbows and unicorn poop" kind of way, but in a real way:
-People who make you smile and laugh
-People you can be real with if/when you need
-People who don't drain your energy
-People who give as much to you as you do them
-People whom you're excited to see, get a message from or call
Social Health is one of the dimensions of Deep Health
This is a prime example we tend to overlook in our health - our people. You can be active, eat well, sleep well, have a great job and family life... but if you spend YOUR time with one person (or more), that is constantly causing stress, anxiety, frustration, anger etc.. it's going to eventually catch up to you and filter into other areas of your deep health.
As modern humans we need to be better with our choices and most importantly, be happy with whatever choice WE MAKE FOR OURSELVES. We have MORE control than we believe we do. We just tend to give it away, at the expense of our own health and wellbeing.
